Watched Shrek 4 today, then went to the library and then for dinner today.

Shrek 4 is quite good. Teaches us not to take things for granted.

I was just browsing the books at the library then I came across a book which aims to promote happiness. It was a boring book but there were 2 phrases that caught my attention.

Happiness is a choice.

Happiness is free.

Everyday we make a decision, if we are going to be happy that day. This is very difficult, but seemingly, if we make a decision to be happy the moment we wake up, we can be a bit happier.

We are actually born with the ability to be happy, but as we grow, we somehow forget how to be happy. As a result, we try to buy things and spend lots of money with the aim to make ourselves happy. Coming to think about it, is that really necessary?

我相信

我相信：冥冥注定现在的你遇到现在的我。若以前的你遇到以前的我，可能我们就不会是那么好的朋友 - 因为那时的你可能不削我这个朋友。

好希望自己能相信自己的价值，但四周围的人与事都证明了不管我有多努力，在他人心目中，我似乎永远排不到第一顺位。

Mad angry!!!!

It simply doesn't pay to put in additional effort in this god-forsaken company!!!


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Dilemma

I am unsure. Not sure if I should continue in the hospitality industry. I have mixed feelings. I like the industry, yet I loath the low pay and the frog-in-the-well feel. I feel that I am faring relatively well currently. Not sure if I will be able to get take it that I am at the bottom of everything, not sure about everything and know nothing about everything.

Nevertheless I know I have to leave to widen my perspective, to learn more for greater growth.

When will I leave? I am not sure.

Pre-cny sianz-ness

Problems buying cny clothes. Super sianz..... Maybe I should just go back to work for cny..

*indescribable sianz-ness*


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Feeling bad

I felt really bad for being insensitive in cracking a bad joke. It was seriously my bad.. :(

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我不开心

我不开心。河马陈也不开心。

河马陈是为了柴米油盐酱醋茶而烦恼、为了工作而烦恼、为了家人而烦恼。晚一些再为爱情烦。我很希望河马陈会慢慢的开心起来。

而我，却不知为了什么而烦。只觉得自己浑浑噩噩，不知不觉地过了四分之一个世纪。到现在，自己要什么也不是很清楚。我不知道该把重心放在哪里。因为我怕。我曾把100%的重心放在爱情上，换来的只是满怀的悲伤加满脑的悲观与忧郁。我曾把100%的重心放在事业上，人算不如天算，事业也没有很成功，到今天也只是一个小小的人事部人员。不！是小小的行政人员。

我曾被至亲的人背叛过，被朋友利用过。但我笨、就是不学乖，还是重感情。但我真的尝试过了。我设法为自己洗脑，要做个不惜人间烟火的人。这几年来，我就过这像梦般的生活 -- 浑浑噩噩的生活。我的忠旨是：没有希望就没有失望，尤其对感情。

我的思绪很混乱。最终我还是把大部分的重心放在工作上。虽然我不是付出最多努力的，但对于那些不努力但又领高薪与高职位的，老实说我心里感到不平衡。我的努力是否就这么没价值？我就那么不被重视？我是垃圾吗？

我很乱。我质疑自己是不是垃圾。我的价值是什么？在质疑自己的同时，我也不知觉的质疑起一些人。

我不喜欢这样的自己。