2010

Was browsing some blogs and seems that some bloggers have consolidated their 2010, so I thought I should do the same.

2010 for me...

1. joined my current company P**s*s***s as Regional HR Executive.

It is a struggle but I would say still surviving. It is a learning process, especially in terms of how to manage difficult people and work with weird people. Realised that working in my previous hotel really limits my view. Coming over here might not be the best choice I have ever made, but I am definitely grateful to have this exposure.

2. Went to BKK alone. Something which I never thought I would do as I thought that BKK is a relatively more dangerous place. In the end, BKK is definitely safe and it helps that I am naturally dark as well. Though it is not my best trip, at least I have fulfilled my honour in going back to pray to the 4 faced Buddha.

3. Went for KL trip with a bestie. It was a good trip and without doubt I have enjoyed it. At least we have 1 trip saved in our memories.

4. Discovered 流沙包 -- the one which will really 流. :) It is my love now.

5. Finally learnt how to appreciate having a sister who entertains me. When I was young (and 不懂事), I kept thinking why should I have a sister. But now I am appreciative of her being there to entertain (and irritate) me.

6. I am definitely always appreciative of my mother who has single-handedly brought up myself and my sister (and Hersheys). It is definitely VERY difficult and she has done it. Not everyone is able to do it.

7. Introduced my 2 best friends to each other to form 3 best friends. :)

8. Still keeping good contacts with the Ninis/ SIM schoolmates. Davis gotten married this year and Daniel and I were the emcees for his wedding banquet. First time as emcee, definitely nervous, but happy to be part of the great wedding event for Davis and Qiuying.

9. Second time being jiemei. This time for Doris' and Eric's wedding. Great fun.

10. Left the hotel with achievements of my own -- doing the Retirees Lunch by adding a theme to the event, coordinating successfully with the Anniversary Awards, giving standup presentations to Security department and F&B managers. It is usually not possible for a HRE to do all these but I have strived for my own good. I am proud of myself.

11. Applied my first credit card under my own name. :)

Seriously cant remember more. I am so preoccupied with work/ my own career planning that I cant think of anything else for 2010. I especially have not much recollections of the first half of the year. Initially I could only think about my job change for 2010. Hope there will not be another change in 2011 -- I simply cant afford to keep changing. It is very bad for my resume.

2011 will be another exciting year. Again, I will work towards developing myself during my stay with my current company. I will meet up with lots of challenges, but I am sure I will get over them. When I leave the company, hopefully in April 2012, I will have developed good communication skills and a deeper trench hole for work stress. I will be better in managing difficult people and I would have achievements in some projects. I will be proud to call myself having regional experience. It is not going to be easy, especially since I work under JB, but I will keep trying. I need not love her, but I will need to know how to work under her.

加油 for 2011! :D

我不开心

我不开心。河马陈也不开心。

河马陈是为了柴米油盐酱醋茶而烦恼、为了工作而烦恼、为了家人而烦恼。晚一些再为爱情烦。我很希望河马陈会慢慢的开心起来。

而我，却不知为了什么而烦。只觉得自己浑浑噩噩，不知不觉地过了四分之一个世纪。到现在，自己要什么也不是很清楚。我不知道该把重心放在哪里。因为我怕。我曾把100%的重心放在爱情上，换来的只是满怀的悲伤加满脑的悲观与忧郁。我曾把100%的重心放在事业上，人算不如天算，事业也没有很成功，到今天也只是一个小小的人事部人员。不！是小小的行政人员。

我曾被至亲的人背叛过，被朋友利用过。但我笨、就是不学乖，还是重感情。但我真的尝试过了。我设法为自己洗脑，要做个不惜人间烟火的人。这几年来，我就过这像梦般的生活 -- 浑浑噩噩的生活。我的忠旨是：没有希望就没有失望，尤其对感情。

我的思绪很混乱。最终我还是把大部分的重心放在工作上。虽然我不是付出最多努力的，但对于那些不努力但又领高薪与高职位的，老实说我心里感到不平衡。我的努力是否就这么没价值？我就那么不被重视？我是垃圾吗？

我很乱。我质疑自己是不是垃圾。我的价值是什么？在质疑自己的同时，我也不知觉的质疑起一些人。

我不喜欢这样的自己。

Klang Bak Ku Teh

Hippo brought me to eat Klang Bak Ku Teh yesterday. VERY good!!! :D :D Learnt how to eat chopped chilli padi + chopped garlic + dark soya sauce. Craving for it now. =X Will go eat it tomorrow. :) *yummy!!*

Definition of a Friend

I thought that what separates a good friend and a normal friend is that a good friend will be able to feel whatever you are feeling. Meaning to say our thoughts and feelings are synchronised. Jiexi cried over my sad incidents with me, so have I over her sad happenings. Needless to say, we are best friends, and I appreciate her synchronisation a lot. I felt that at least someone cares and understands.

Hippo's thoughts differ. He reminded me that I should pull myself out of the picture, so that I will be able to provide better guidance and support. A good friend should be calm and logical enough to act as a 避风港 for the other party, which is also valid.

Regardless of our difference in thoughts/ definition. We have different roles to play as friends.

According to joycelynpedia.com, another characteristic of a good friend is to be able to carry out engaging, enlightening and thought intriguing conversations with one another. :)

That Deeply Rooted Misbelief

I didn't realise how deeply rooted I was into the whole thing, until Jiexi and Hippo talked about it with me.

I had tea and dinner with Hippo today. As a result of our discussion, I was further surprised by my extent of rootedness. Hippo mentioned that I am very successful in psyching myself in this area. So much so that I am confused. I am shocked by how true what Hippo and Jiexi mentioned are. Yet I am so afraid and insecure to accept what they have mentioned. I think I need more time. Whatever that is deeply rooted into me is not there overnight, maybe I need more time to reverse that. Maybe.

Please stop digging

I hope and wish that Hippo will stop digging.

3 Jan 10

Had tea and dinner with Hippo today. I got to know his point of view better and hence I respect his decisions and behaviour. In a way, maybe I should start digging a bit.

Thank you Hippo. :)

Implanting Belief and Hope

In celebration of Jiexi getting attached, had dinner with Jiexi and Hippo. Had a good dinner and conversation was good.

Jiexi shared ideas about the Emotional Bank. When we have good dialogues, we are depositing into our respective banks. When we are having arguments, we are withdrawing from the bank. It is also important for us to maintain good balance in our banks. If our deposit is low, we should withdraw from the other party's bank. Good point. I hope Jiexi will remember to practise this with Mr *Ahem*. :) Seriously hope Jiexi will be forever happy with Mr *Ahem*. :D

Hippo and Jiexi tried to implant Belief and Hope into me, which I have long lost. I have hope, but I dare not believe. Maybe one day I will have both.

I wish all my friends, especially Jiexi and Hippo, happy happenings. :)