Sianz

Just came back from an interview. Feeling quite sianz now -- met another bad agent today; or rather, I just realised that this agent is bad. Seriously don't know if it is coz I am super sway.

The interview was okay and everything. I appreciate the job offering lots of exposure and learning opportunities (even though the pay not very high). The only thing which I am slightly uncomfortable with is that I have this worry that the permanent staff might expect my working style to be similar to the girl I am going in to replace. She is from SMU and works on a permanent part-time basis, when she is on holiday she will return to the company to help out. If I am not wrong she is with the company for around 1-2 years already. So, my worry that they might do comparison is definitely not unfound. Moreover she might be return to the company if there are major projects. From my experience with GMP, I have already learnt that if the supervisors don't like you, that means they don't like you, no matter how hard you try. A bit sad, but that's the way it is.

Reverting back to the "agent story". I have 2 more interviews on Wednesday and I told the company and the agent that I will only be able to give an answer on Friday. The company said okay; the agent actually has the cheek to say "it is not fair for the company". Generally in a nutshell, he is trying to suggest that I should NOT go for the 2 other interviews because I "can't have the best of both worlds". Oh pleaseeeee, firstly the company has not offered me yet; secondly it is ethically wrong to discourage candidates from going to other interviews. Needless to say, I was pissed. I then told the agent that it is not fair for me if I don't go for the 2 other interviews.

Apparently I was seriously irritated, so I called Li'an to complain. Even after whining to her, I wasn't satisfied, so I told my mother over lunch. Somehow, she got the wrong idea that I went for interview that the agency this morning and started to scold me saying that I shouldn't go to agents if I am uncomfortable with them and that I need not tell the agent that I am going for other interviews blah blah blah. To be honest, I am already very stressed up with her job not being stable already, which really explains why I am so keen to look for a job. I just wanted to whine, is it so hard for her to listen only? Seriously sianz.

Was telling Li'an that I feel so sianz and tired that I got the impression that I feel that I am reaching the end of my life, even though I am only 25.

Hopefully tomorrow's session at the gynae will bring me good news. Hope I don't need to take MC for too long. Best if I don't need surgery. Simply because seemingly the company I went to this morning is not keen to wait (not under agent's influence; point brought across to me by manager). Went out with Jasyln last Saturday, told her about my condition. She was a bit shocked that I am not worried about the cyst. Although there is nothing much to worry, come to think about it -- maybe I was too sianz to worry.

I am a job seeker

I am frantically looking for a HR job, but it is so so so very hard to find. Though I have only started my search for 2 weeks, I can't help but feel sianz. So far, I had went for only 2 interviews in organisations.

The first one is a healthcare organisation offered very low pay saying that I do not have experience and hence only that pay. Moreover, I can already sense that my interviewer is pretty political. Since I agreed that I have zero experience, I was in a dilemma if I should accept the position. I was so troubled that I went to 求簽 can! Haha.. Mother said that since I 求簽-ed already I must follow the advice. The advice given was to be patient and wait. OK! I shall wait then. Haha..

The second one I was sort of conned into going for interview by the agent. The name of the agency has 2 words. First word means search, starting with R, and the second word means fast, starting with E. Apparently I am not very happy with their services. The agent told me that this job is a 6 months contract to perm position at this very reputable MNC. However, if I were to leave the contract within these 6 months, there will be a penalty of 1 month's pay. The reason the agent gave was because the company provide intensive training. The offering pay is my minimum, hence I went, especially since it is a MNC.

When I reached there, the manager told me that they are just looking for a temporary 6 months contract HR assistant. Meaning to say, I will need to leave the company after 6 months regardless of my performance. The job is basically to cover 2 HR personnels on maternity leave. No training will be provided -- I am generally left on my own. The 1st 3 months I am just required to do paperwork. Needless to say, I was totally shocked. This is a totally different story from what the agent said. I was rather disgusted by the action of the agent too.

The next day, the agent called me. I told her what she had said to me was totally different from what the manager told me. She acted blur. AND, she said that 6 months of working in the MNC will look good in my resume, saying she had my interests at heart etc etc etc. OH PLEASE!

To be honest, I was quite empathic with the manager. They are seriously shorthanded. In fact, they require me to start work on Thursday if I am agreeable. Moreover, I appreciate him being frank. BUT, the working location is at Science Park 2 and I live in Ang Mo Kio. And, I am totally not comfortable in letting the agency earn my money -- I still would have to pay them administration charges of $53.50 if I take up the job. So, needless to say, I rejected the job.

So now, I am still nua-ing at home. Haiz..

PS: Japan Day 4 edited to insert live crab video

Buang Exam and Complexion

Today I had my HRM paper. It sux. And I am serious. I am not exaggerating. If I failed, I am not surprised.

After the paper I felt totally dejected. What made my mood worse was my meeting of one of my polytechnic classmates. (I shall be explicitly implicit here)

We were classmates since polytechnic year one. We were frequent project mates; yet some how, I do not have deep impressions that we were project mates. During SIM year two (exempted for 1 year), we studied together; but this year, she is not my mug mate. Today I finally know why.

She treats me as a competitor, never mind.
She talks bad behind me, I let it go since I am not present.
I suspect she attempted to influence the people around her to dislike me. So be it, I am a believer of 清者自清. I did not do the same to her because I have integrity.
Her 口头禅 was,"Joycelyn 欺负我." and frequently victimise herself. I endure but attempted to correct her by confronting her.
She commented about my bad complexion EVERY TIME she sees me. (This happened for at least 3-5 times) I am hurt and angry but I tolerate still, until today.

Yes, I agree. I have adult acne. My complexion is CUI. But you don't have to remind me EVERY TIME you see me.

PLUS,
Unless you know how to make up, you can't comment someone's make up skills are bad.
Unless you know fashion, you can't say someone is a fashion disaster.
Unless you are a beauty queen, you can't say someone is ugly.
Unless you own flawless complexion, you can't say someone's complexion is cui.

After the paper today, I met poly classmate (PC) at the MRT station.
PC: Wah! Joycelyn you very stressed ar?
Me: *irritated* Number 1 - My complexion cui is none of your business. Number 2 - you don't have to remind me every time you see me.
PC: Why you so agitated?
Me: Your commenting about my bad complexion every time you see me makes it hard for me not to be work up.
PC: Orh. OK loh.

Actually I wanted to say something more evil. But I held my tongue because I have 口德. As the saying goes, with friends like her, I don't need enemies.

I seriously don't understand. She can be a nice person but I don't understand why is she "playing stunts". I don't understand why must she degrade others so as to escalate herself. Neither do I understand why must she victimise herself all the time.

PS: As I have mentioned. I am being explicitly implicit here. So I am sure many of you would be able to guess who PC is. And, if PC is reading this, I am not hiding anything. Yes, I am pissed off with you; and I have a reason to. If you have a problem, really appreciate if you will confront me, straight at my face.

I felt
After this episode, I was so upset about both my buang paper and my buang complexion that I cried. Shan, Dan and Jia comforted me. Yee even called me to check on me. Jiexi was angry via MSN with me. All said they empathised with me and felt angry with PC.