Upset

I realised that my tolerance level towards my family has decreased. When my sister is being plain irresponsible by not coming home to feed the dog, I am angry. When my mother forgotten to put my snowskin mooncake in the fridge, I am angry. When my sister forgets to hang clothes, I am angry too.

If I don't clear the trash bag, it doesn't get cleared. If I don't vacuum or mop the floor, the floor remains dirty. If I don't remind my sister to hang the clothes, they stay in the washing machine. Whenever mother goes abroad, it is my duty to be a chauffeur.

Somehow, through these small little incidents, I get the impression that I am held responsible for the things not done. I am irritated. I feel that I have already done enough, but somehow, enough is never enough. Just like I am never good enough. Perhaps I am destined to be just "2nd best".

I am tired. When can I rest in peace?

No strength + image problem

I am tired. I think I am sick for a bit too long. Even though I am showing signs of recovery, I am still not exactly well. My strength is not back yet. The other day I was trying to scrub some dirt off a towel, I was so weak that I had to keep alternating my arms to do the scrubbing. (Normally 1 arm should be able to do the job, and I should take shorter time.)

Embarrassingly, I doh-ed on Davis' floor last night because I was too tired after OT-ing. XYZ. Really very sianz loh. I DON'T LIKE TO BE SICK! :ROAR: Normally I am the one who doh-ed last too! :(

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My colleagues kept emphasising one thing to me -- that I should not be soft or show signs that I am new or noob or weak or easy-to-handle to my store staff. This is because there is a high chance that they will try to take advantage and it will be very tough for me to overturn that image once the impression sets in. This is definitely something I should
MUST work on.